Day 19: What Is Your Biggest Regret In Life?

Hey nosies!

From the picture, I’m sure it comes as no surprise that my biggest regret is related to college.  When I was in high school, I had the biggest dreams and goals.  In my mind, the sky was the limit!  I wanted to own a magazine so badly that I had actually started working on the business plan (without even knowing that it was a business plan) and started recruiting talent for my magazine.  I was such an entrepreneur with SO many skills and talents. I was a beast, to say the least!

Unfortunately, this was also the era where college had changed from being an option to an expectation.  My parents were part of the generation of African Americans able to function in society after high school with just a diploma.  Having a degree was a privilege for them but not mandatory.  But for my generation, college was trendy and expected…taking advantage of the opportunity was my responsibility.  And in my house, getting a degree was mandatory.  Well…I could either get a degree or get out and “getting out” didn’t seem as attractive as it does now.  So the preparation for my college experience began.

At this time, my father and I had a falling out and he wasn’t in the picture.  Our “breakup” couldn’t have come at a worse time.  Why? Because he was the voice of reason when it came to finances and investments.  My mom was more into accomplishing goals by any means necessary.  I remember her having me sign here and sign there on endless loan agreements.  I remember asking her what interest rates were and how they would impact me.

“You’ll have loans Josie, its inevitable.  You’ll be paying them back your whole life just like me.  You’ll manage.”

Those weren’t my mom’s exact words but they’re pretty close.  My mom was certain that I would enter a career that would be profitable.  It was a simple formula in her eyes:

loans = degree = better career options = more money = to pay loans back AND some

But neither of us had any idea how the loan consolidation options would change as the years passed.  And neither of us knew that I would graduate with no interest in my field of study.

I waited years (and I mean, YEARS) before making a payment on my student loans – taking classes to defer my loans.  I didn’t want to make a payment until finding a great career where the payments wouldn’t inconvenience me financially.  But I never found that career.

After realizing that it was time to face that reality, I started the process of loan repayments.  THIS is when I learned what an interest rate really was and how it would impact me the rest of my life.  My loans had doubled due to many interest rates of 9.75% on loans of $15,000.  My loans were sitting at $650 a month with no consolidation options, seeing as they were private.

Just like the other million college graduates who made bad choices, I’ve had to trade any hopes of doing what I really love for a life of 2 jobs to avoid wage garnishment and bad credit.  I could always enter a new career path with more opportunities but its hard to explore your options after working 13 hour shifts throughout the week, with only one day off work.

The irony of my regret is that I actually work as a college recruiter! But I’ve made it my goal to never let any student that I work with have an experience similar to mine.  I am an open book of do’s and don’t’s from my personal experience and I’m voluntary with my advice.  Many of the students I work with are first generation college students who don’t know what questions to ask.  That’s what I’m here for.  College is a wonderful investment if done properly.  I didn’t handle things correctly and its affected my entire life.  I basically live to work, while trying to fit in a little life here and there.

I would trade my degree in, in a heartbeat if it meant I could start over.