You’re Worth The Trouble

Yesterday was my birthday.  I don’t know when birthdays became something I feared rather than embraced or celebrated.  It might have been around the time I realized that not everyone viewed your existence as a blessing.  Or maybe it was when I started to question the same.

For years, I struggled with accepting myself because I measured my successes by the standards that society and my surroundings had dictated.  Each birthday I felt further and further away from the goals that other people had set for me.  It was as if everything I had worked so hard over the course of my life was deemed unacceptable: my career, my living situation, my relationships with family, my dating life.  So naturally, I just felt unacceptable.

In a world where people are more focused on their own sustenance and prosperity rather than that of the whole, its not hard to become easy prey for opportunists when you lack confidence.  So I fell into company who constantly reminded me that I was spoiled, damaged goods who didn’t deserve more than what I was capable of offering myself.  Through words and actions, I was told that I wasn’t as qualified as the next woman to be loved or respected.  I was too much work and wasn’t worth the trouble.

Too much of my life was spent chasing after the love of someone else

It should never have taken me 30 years to challenge this.  Too much of my life was spent chasing after the love of someone else; seeking acceptance from both friendships and relationships.  But now that I’ve learned how worthy I am of love, I have the rest of my life to chase after loving myself and to reassure others that they are worth loving too.  I’m finally prepared for whoever God wants me to cross paths with and I’m ready to give more love than I have ever been offered.

Many of my experiences are not unique to just me, however .  I’m not the only one who’s confidence was damaged by hurtful experiences, toxic relationships and negative reinforcement.  So to those who’s journey resembles my own, allow me to assure you that you are worth more than they know.

you are worth more than they know

If you have to spend the rest of your life figuring out how so, then you do that.  But don’t waste another breath trying to prove anyone wrong about you or your worth.  Don’t waste another breath trying to earn the love and respect of people who aren’t insightful enough to realize that you’re worth ALL the trouble.

Furthermore, don’t fear your birthday or getting older because of lack of accomplishments or stunted success.  You are exactly where you are supposed to be in life. When its time for you to be somewhere else, then you’ll be somewhere else.  Don’t concern yourself with what you’ve missed out on or what you haven’t done or achieved.  Just embrace and celebrate where you are right now at this very moment.  Because you are fabulous and beautiful in THIS moment.  Your flaws are absolutely radiating with uniqueness.

You are being prepared for greatness (which by no means is equivalent to perfection). Contrary to popular belief, greatness doesn’t have a measurement scale.  Bottom line, the only one who needs to view your existence as a blessing is you. Anyone else is extra.  Your opinion is the only one that matters.

 Nosy Josie