I have been very silent this past month. My mind has been reflecting on a lot. So much good…so little bad. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of myself for ending the year in peace. Not perfection – but peace. To say that this year has been an emotional one would be nothing short of redundant. I mean…is there ever a time that I don’t start the new year with a heavy exhale and some Mary J Blige? :) Thankfully, I’ve come to realize that a year ending without emotion is nothing more than 365 days without growth.
Last year I faced a lot of truths that I wasn’t ready to accept. My eyes were opened to so many different things…both internally and externally. It was a heartbreaking awakening but an awakening, nonetheless. I became aware. But it wasn’t until this year that I learned to accept those things. And more importantly, how to control the controllable.
I chose to get personal with myself rather than be superficial with others
…the biggest lesson this year taught me was that there are things which are actually within my control. If I don’t like a certain personality trait of mine – work on it. If I don’t like how someone treats me – leave. If I want to forgive someone -forgive them. If I want to be loved – allow myself to me.
I made a decision to step back from social media. I chose to get personal with myself rather than be superficial with others. Limiting myself to one social media outlet forced me to focus on myself and what I was (or wasn’t) doing with my life, rather than what others were (or weren’t) doing with theirs.
I got to know myself all over again. And through my journal entries, I allowed others to get to know me as well. This journal entry makes 17. Seventeen times I’ve blogged from the heart; allowing myself to be vulnerable with both myself and with you. For my last journal entry of 2016, I wanted to let some of you know how instrumental you’ve been in my life this year. Far too often we read and comment on each other’s blogs without knowing or understanding the impact we’ve made on each other. But my biggest lessons this year actually came from many of you!
THANKS TO YOU…
Juaquina Carter: for teasing my heart with an unapologetic journey of finding one’s self. Your exposure is breathtaking. With each post, I find myself craving and chasing intimacy with myself.
Tunisia Jolyn: what don’t you do for me? More than your writing…your consistency, drive and focus inspires me in ways I can’t explain. The epitome of what it means to be in love with your gift…from you, I understand what it means to really chase your dreams.
Nicole Cherise: selflessness in human form. You are a gift from God. He checks me through you. I understand now that a positive attitude is a choice…no situation I’m going through is ever above that.
Christie Page: to fight…to fight…to fight. Your words are like a hug and a gentle push from behind. You remind me that I’m not alone while reinforcing that giving up is never an option. I am reminded through you that I can press forward because I’m strong.
Original-Dante: a chocolate (gentle)man with a heart of gold. Your soft touch and gentleness restored my faith that men like you actually exist. And that’s big!
Back In Stilettos Again: I never knew I could care so much about a stranger lol. Not only did those stilettos of yours keep me at the edge of my seat, but they reminded me that dating should be a fun experience. And although I should stay true to my standards, I shouldn’t let them prevent me from enjoying myself and the process.
Negros With a Podcast: where would my cultural and political awareness be without NWAP. I rush to stimulate my mind because of this podcast. Not only has my awareness been heightened but so have my conversations, perspective and love for black men.
A Couple Talks: taking 2016 off from their blog (and work) to travel and explore the world with each other, this couple showed me the true meaning of taking a risk to follow your heart and to experience life to the fullest.
Am I 30 Yet: no matter what life drama overtook my mood this year, I could never stay upset when on your blog. Reading your articles is like watching a sitcom of my own life unravel before my own eyes lol. With you, I had no choice but to laugh at my pain.
Zone of Non-Being: my new NWAP (see above) lol. I see now why all of my favorite bloggers follow you. Although a recent follower, my mind has already been re-stimulated with your political and cultural commentary on social issues. I’m more conscious in my perspective as well as my interactions with others. And I’m a bit scared lol.
Rise With Jamie: if my spirit had a mirror, you would be its reflection. I feel validated in your writings – as if I’ve found a kindred spirit. But most importantly, they encourage me to reflect on my feelings , how to make sense of them and how to utilize them.
Gray Suede: if melanin itself had a blog, you would be it lol. I have learned so much about SO MUCH through your blog. From black art, to black love, to black pain, to black health, to black history, to black black black. I am way more well-rounded and PROUD because of you. In the words of Jay Z – “I brag different.” :D
Two-Minute Tune-Up: my daily shot of inspiration, self-check, and perspective all rolled into one. With your help, I SEE people differently. I no longer require change from people as much as I require change from myself.
I could go on and on… there are so many heavy hitter bloggers in my life that I am new to following. Know that I appreciate you also! But those above (with the exception of one) have been feeding my spirit for nearly all of 2016, if not longer and I owe much of my growth to them. Thank you for just being you and ushering me into a Happy New Year!
Nosie Josie JE17