1:37 am ][ year of acceptance.

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I have been very silent this past month.  My mind has been reflecting on a lot.  So much good…so little bad.  I’m proud of myself.  I’m proud of myself for ending the year in peace. Not perfection – but peace.  To say that this year has been an emotional one would be nothing short of redundant.  I mean…is there ever a time that I don’t start the new year with a heavy exhale and some Mary J Blige? :)  Thankfully, I’ve come to realize that a year ending without emotion is nothing more than 365 days without growth.

Last year I faced a lot of truths that I wasn’t ready to accept.  My eyes were opened to so many different things…both internally and externally.  It was a heartbreaking awakening but an awakening, nonetheless.  I became aware.  But it wasn’t until this year that I learned to accept those things.  And more importantly, how to control the controllable.

I chose to get personal with myself rather than be superficial with others

…the biggest lesson this year taught me was that there are things which are actually within my control.  If I don’t like a certain personality trait of mine – work on it.  If I don’t like how someone treats me – leave.  If I want to forgive someone -forgive them.  If I want to be loved – allow myself to me.

I made a decision to step back from social media.  I chose to get personal with myself rather than be superficial with others.  Limiting myself to one social media outlet forced me to focus on myself and what I was (or wasn’t) doing with my life, rather than what others were (or weren’t) doing with theirs.

I got to know myself all over again.  And through my journal entries, I allowed others to get to know me as well.  This journal entry makes 17.  Seventeen times I’ve blogged from the heart; allowing myself to be vulnerable with both myself and with you.  For my last journal entry of 2016, I wanted to let some of you know how instrumental you’ve been in my life this year.  Far too often we read and comment on each other’s blogs without knowing or understanding the impact we’ve made on each other.  But my biggest lessons this year actually came from many of you!

THANKS TO YOU…

Juaquina Carter: for teasing my heart with an unapologetic journey of finding one’s self.  Your exposure is breathtaking.  With each post, I find myself craving and chasing intimacy with myself.

Tunisia Jolyn: what don’t you do for me?  More than your writing…your consistency, drive and focus inspires me in ways I can’t explain. The epitome of what it means to be in love with your gift…from you, I understand what it means to really chase your dreams.

Nicole Cherise: selflessness in human form.  You are a gift from God.  He checks me through you.  I understand now that a positive attitude is a choice…no situation I’m going through is ever above that.

Christie Page:  to fight…to fight…to fight.  Your words are like a hug and a gentle push from behind.  You remind me that I’m not alone while reinforcing that giving up is never an option.  I am reminded through you that I can press forward because I’m strong.

Original-Dante: a chocolate (gentle)man with a heart of gold.  Your soft touch and gentleness restored my faith that men like you actually exist. And that’s big!

Back In Stilettos Again: I never knew I could care so much about a stranger lol.  Not only did those stilettos of yours keep me at the edge of my seat, but they reminded me that dating should be a fun experience.  And although I should stay true to my standards, I shouldn’t let them prevent me from enjoying myself and the process.

Negros With a Podcast: where would my cultural and political awareness be without NWAP.  I rush to stimulate my mind because of this podcast.  Not only has my awareness been heightened but so have my conversations, perspective and love for black men.

A Couple Talks: taking 2016 off from their blog (and work) to travel and explore the world with each other, this couple showed me the true meaning of taking a risk to follow your heart and to experience life to the fullest.

Am I 30 Yet: no matter what life drama overtook my mood this year, I could never stay upset when on your blog.  Reading your articles is like watching a sitcom of my own life unravel before my own eyes lol.  With you, I had no choice but to laugh at my pain.

Zone of Non-Being: my new NWAP (see above) lol.  I see now why all of my favorite bloggers follow you.  Although a recent follower, my mind has already been re-stimulated with your political and cultural commentary on social issues.  I’m more conscious in my perspective as well as my interactions with others.  And I’m a bit scared lol.

Rise With Jamie: if my spirit had a mirror, you would be its reflection. I feel validated in your writings – as if I’ve found a kindred spirit.  But most importantly, they encourage me to reflect on my feelings , how to make sense of them and how to utilize them.

Gray Suede: if melanin itself had a blog, you would be it lol.  I have learned so much about SO MUCH through your blog.  From black art, to black love, to black pain, to black health, to black history, to black black black. I am way more well-rounded and PROUD because of you.  In the words of Jay Z –  “I brag different.” :D

Two-Minute Tune-Up:  my daily shot of inspiration, self-check, and perspective all rolled into one.  With your help, I SEE people differently. I no longer require change from people as much as I require change from myself.

I could go on and on… there are so many heavy hitter bloggers in my life that I am new to following.  Know that I appreciate you also!  But those above (with the exception of one) have been feeding my spirit for nearly all of 2016, if not longer and I owe much of my growth to them.  Thank you for just being you and ushering me into a Happy New Year!

Nosie Josie heart JE17

About nosy josie (88 Articles)
Josie is an aspiring writer living in Chicago Illinois, inspiring self-love through her own tragicomic life journey. Follow Josie as she details her collection of dating fails, life lessons and heart-to-heart confessions with her nosy readers.

45 Comments on 1:37 am ][ year of acceptance.

  1. Hey! Look at you … up all extra late! At 1:37am, I am typically in Stage 4 REM sleep looking like this 😴 with the drool and EVERYTHANG lol.

    I am humbled seeing my blog on your list and I am happy to have had an impact on you! Thank you for tuning in and always engaging me in conversation 😀

    I appreciate the way you talk about the difference between an online personality and what you actually experience. It is good you are putting yourself first. Pulling away from social media definitely has its benefits – as you pointed out, with the constant comparisons. It ends up rotting the soul and breeding unhappiness. I like this post because I got a chance to learn more about you – from the music you listen to … to your trials and triumphs … to the types of blogs that stimulate your mind!

    Mary J Blige be having them anthems! I was listening to “Everything” today … I sang it to my windshield in traffic lol

    I wish you a Happy New Year!

    Liked by 2 people

    • lmbo I had an instant vision of you singing with your head reaching for the windshield! I definitely will be continuing my journal entries going into 2017 so you’ll learn more about me for sure. Grab some IB Profin lol. Hopefully you’ll see a transformation in my thinking now that I’m retaining so much of what I’m learning through my blog family! Happy New Year to you also my friend :D

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mary J. BLIGE “Thicke of It” gets on my nerves. She just screams. Just kidding she has a phenomenal voice and knows how to capture the audience. Jazzmine Sullivan wrote part of that song, btw. Also, I deleted half of the ppl on my FB page and I’m not even following 30 ppl on Instagram. And, I go days without logging in on social media, because without knowing it we can simply and easily become someone else by trying to “follow”the strangers we see, the people we no longer talk to, etc. I feel you have to back up from those outlets and thrive in real life without broadcasting it…you go, girl. Happy New Year! I wish I had magic to just give people what they want….but the supreme God knows what yu want and need, and He won’t forsake his child. You. 2017 ♡

    Liked by 1 person

    • o0o thank you for that! I love how you narrowed down your following and took your own step back. Don’t you feel amazing?! How do you feel about where you are in life right now, after doing so?

      Like

  3. Ending the year in PEACE! YES! Now, that is beautiful. Love your spirit. Happy New Years!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Peace is a wonderful thing to possess, no doubt! And getting personal with myself rather than being superficial with others is the name of the game in 2017. I love this post and no I get to check out some other amazing bloggers too! 2 for 1 tonight! Thanks for sharing and Happy Wishes in the New Year!!

    Like

  5. Reblogged this on KAYCEE CHUKWU and commented:
    Wait!!!
    I just had to share this ;-)
    #NoApologies!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. C.L. Vaughan // December 30, 2016 at 3:47 am // Reply

    Yes! I’m here for all of this! I’m loving you living yourself! I’m so proud of the growth you’ve expressed… Keep it up, Jo!

    Love you!

    Like

  7. I’m honored to make your lineup and thank you for introducing me to more awesome bloggers! Peace + blessings for 2017!

    I hope you know you’re one of my favorites, Josie! xo

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh oh and I love that pic of you!!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Oh Josie! <3 You are the best for including me in your year-end thanks.

    You had a huge impact on me this year. I am always eager to hear your feedback, and you have given me the gift of insight into my crazy dating life.

    I am thrilled to call you a friend. I hope we can meet up one day. I know that we would have a blast chatting & laughing for hours over cocktails. :)

    Liked by 2 people

    • As I started typing my reply to you, I laughed because I realized I’m about to say the same thing to you that AGD said (AFTER I called his bluff on it haha). I truly didn’t get this message! hahahaha.

      You are definitely one of my dearest friends and if in San Fran, we will definitely do lunch and drinks! <3

      Liked by 1 person

  10. So well said as always… I know what you mean by having peace. That’s the one thing I kept longing for all year and I feel like I’ve found it only in this last one week.
    Happy New Year to you! I hope your peace continues through 2017. Have a fabulous year ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah I truly wish you would have found peace earlier but I do appreciate it arriving late rather than never :). How are you feeling about this year so far? Have you figured out yet what’s been missing? And I’m so sorry for the delayed reply – apparently yours was one of many that I didn’t receive a notification for.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s ok, I know life is so busy for all of us. I still don’t know what’s missing! (Scratching my head). LOL. However, the feeling is subsiding. I’m a little over a month into my new job and much happier and so grateful. I hope things are better for you at your job. I remember you were planning to make a move.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’m so happy that your spirits are higher with the new job! Even if the feeling subsides, don’t let the search for understanding go. It’ll keep coming back when you’re not distracted with other things. Tackle it while ya can. My job is … a job. Not really hating or loving it at this point. I love what it does for my free time but I don’t feel fulfilled. I still want to move lol. But only because I’m financially struggling. Pretty soon, I might be forced to make decision AGAIN. So we’ll see if I make the right move this time!

          Liked by 1 person

        • I think the opportunity will present itself when the time is right. Have faith and hold on. I never thought I would find a job like this. I’m pretty sure you will find something fantastic too.

          Liked by 1 person

        • You’re always so supportive. Thank you! <3

          Like

  11. I love it hun. I have relocated btw .Mailing you all about it. Happy New Year dearie . May it be an year of breakthrough. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  12. *a year without emotions is like 365 days with no growth*- very true hey. I remember some words that say “your past experiences whether good or bad, wanted or unwanted creates the platform of knowledge you have and who you are today, so i will not trade them for any different past.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah, WordPress is good for allowing you to miss notifications :(. I’m just now seeing this but better late than never! I love those words of wisdom that you shared. It really makes you appreciate ALL things in your past AND in your present. Thank you for that! :)

      Like

  13. tunisiajolyn84 // January 4, 2017 at 9:10 pm // Reply

    Girl…why am I just seeing this!? I am going to have to give wordpress and their no-notification asses a call. lol Anyway, thank you so much! Why are bloggers keep making me wanna cry this week? lol You’re too sweet! Thank YOU for being one of the most supportive readers and fellow bloggers. You are one of the main reasons I stay consistent. Also, your vulnerability and your willingness to pour your heart out on a blank screen to simply share with us is a magical thing and very inspiring as a writer and a person so salute to you as well my friend! :)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. i nominated you for an award,check it out in my new post!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I love this. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts throughout the year. They have been so honest and real. And thank you so much for the shout out. You are too sweet!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Awesome post. Acceptance is everything. There’s no need for closure when you can accept things. It over rules all. It’s like the big joker in a game of spades. I love this post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “There’s no need for closure when you can accept things” – yes yes yes to this! A very close friend of mine, for the first time after being hurt by a man told me that she doesn’t even need the closure this time. I was taken back initially because “who doesn’t need closure” but after giving it some thought, I realized she was past the situation. And THAT was beautiful. By the way, I just read your collab with Alia and it was amazing! I love love loveeeeed it! Excellent piece :D

      Liked by 1 person

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