A few weeks ago I turned 30 – the big 3-0 – flirty 30 – dirty 30 – doomsday. I’ve heard hundreds of people talk about 30 being a turning point in their lives. This was the year that I would evaluate all of my past mistakes and then spend all year trying to fix them. Great.
Sure enough, like clockwork I felt myself overwhelmed with reflection and regrets. And seeing how I had just gotten out of a relationship (or the closest thing that I’ve ever had to one), the lack of love in my life was the first regret triggered. Here I was, at the peak of my adult life with no possible “anyone” to start a future with.
Being the Taurus that I am, my brain immediately went into solutions mode. How can I fix this? How can I flip the script? Hell…who could I recycle? Like a torpedo, all of the men that I’ve ever dated came rushing to my mind at once. And before I could pump the brakes, the questions of doubt took over. Was that really a good reason for us to stop dating? Maybe I overreacted a little. Maybe it WAS the liquor. At least he was honest with me about it. The arguing wasn’t really THAT bad. I wonder if he can pay his own bills now…
What if I had let go of someone I shouldn’t have? Of course there would be others but how many others? According to a 2012 poll I stumbled upon, the average person falls in love only four times in their life – four times! I don’t know about you but with my dating history, it’s more than likely that I missed that bus already.
Now I know it may seem audacious for those of us with our fair share of dating blunders to have preferences but some of us would still much rather be with one of the four loves of our life; not the runner-up. Could you honestly see yourself moving forward with someone new, when in the back of your mind you know that you’ve experienced someone better for you? That if you would have just tried harder with your ex, your love would have been euphoric. How many of you are in a relationship, wishing that you would have tried harder to work it out with your ex? How many of you are settling?
Of the 2,000 adults interviewed in the before-mentioned poll, many admitted to settling with their current partner. They admitted to feeling as if they had already missed out on the one. Glamour magazine surveyed 1,002 men and found that 32% of them regretted breaking up with their partner. And a fairly recent UK study of 2,000 divorcees found that 50% of the divorcees wished they had never ended their marriage. So apparently I’m not alone in questioning my past decisions.
No one wants to settle…and I’m sure no one wants to be the one their significant other settled for.
How confident are you that you didn’t miss out?