Situationship Under Control

Why does society like to place such unrealistic expectations on women when it comes to dating? Every time that we turn on the radio, we’re constantly encouraged to choose between the role of side-chic or friend with benefits.  

And now you have movies like The Perfect Guy issuing out death sentences for women who challenge their non-progressive relationships. I’m being dramatic, of course but that truly was the premise of the movie.  Most of you were too busy drooling from the on-screen eye candy to take notice, though ;).  Between music and film, 

women are almost being force-fed the concept of “loosening up” or settling.

It wasn’t until I saw The Perfect Guy that this really hit home. After 2 years of “wonderful” dating, Dave was still unwilling to offer his girlfriend Leah a solid, long-term commitment.  It didn’t matter how many work parties that she took him to. It didn’t matter that he had a key to her house or that he referred to her house as his home. It didn’t matter that she cleared out an entire closet for him to hang his clothes.  A long-term commitment was just not in his plans.  And he made it perfectly clear that discussing it wasn’t either.

But even with his unwillingness to work toward a resolution, Dave still expected Leah to stick around and go with his the flow.  And because Dave is a good man, half of us expected the same.  Forget how doing so, at the age of 36 could jeopardize her chances of having the family that she’s always wanted. I think sometimes we feel like there’s such a shortage of good men, that we allow that to be our only criteria when dating…as if nothing else matters.  But sharing similar life goals is important too.

Like many of us, Leah offered all she had with the expectation that her man would do the same.  But no matter how much you plan for a certain outcome, you can never guarantee it.  Instead of offering her a resolution, Dave gave Leah excuse after excuse while in the same breath asking her not to leave. Sound familiar?  People will give you 100 reasons why they’re not ready to commit to you.  The moment you get up to walk away, there’s suddenly 100 reasons why they can’t live without you.  But a man’s intentions are never that complex or complicated.

If he wants more from you, you’ll know it.

As frustrating as it may be, you can never control where someone else’s head or heart is.  But you can control what you put into your relationship and how you respond to what’s being offered back.  Leah realized this and made a decision to no longer settle for a glorified situationship.

So although the movie title would lead you to believe otherwise, Leah wasn’t looking for the perfect guy when she left Dave.  She was looking for a man that wouldn’t keep their relationship in limbo for another 2 years.  For that, I say she deserves a hand-clap and a glass of wine.  The writer, however felt a psycho-killer boyfriend would be more fitting…men.

 When have you had to make a similar decision in a relationship or situationship?

Sources and other media: The Perfect Guy movie trailer, Extend it or End It, 5 Truths about Your Heartbreak

  NosyJosie