6 Men and Their 30 Dating Tips for Single Women

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It’s no mystery that men and women tend to think on two different ends of the dating spectrum.  To the women who have nailed it – our hats go off to you!  Although we may cringe in envy, we must commend you as we all know it was no easy feat.  But to those of us who are still lingering in the mystery zone of singledom and situationships, these 6 professional males (ages 23-30) have put together their own personal dating manual just for us!

Remember, every man is their own man with their own likes and dislikes.  If you find yourself trying to implement each of these tips in every situation, see #19 :).  However, there was one tip that EACH of our men suggested independently – #9.

Brace yourselves!  These gentleman were told to be open and uncensored.  Most importantly, they are eager to change our “erroneous” dating ways and finally rid of all confusion.  Let’s hear from our…

6 Men and Their 30 Dating Tips for Single Women

1. DON’T ASSUME that the person you’re going out with is the one that you will end up with for the rest of your life. You automatically put yourself in awkward situations by evaluating this stranger as your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. If you would just get to know them, spend time with them, and then decide that later…it would work out a lot better.

2.  BE CONFIDENT! Don’t worry about the next chic. If you know that I’m an attractive guy :) – don’t get mad at another woman showing me attention.

3. DON’T BE SO SENSITIVE. Women can be so literal – learn to take a joke!

4. BE A WOMAN OF GOD. We can’t coexist if we believe in two different things.

5. STOP LOOKING FOR ESTABLISHED MEN all of the time. Sometimes a man just needs a little push or motivation to get them going. Women always want the guy that has the house, car, big d***…not every guy is going to have that! Not having those things doesn’t necessarily make him a bad man, you know.

6. But DON’T BE INTIMIDATED by a strong man or one that has his stuff together; even if its the first one you’ve ever dated. You don’t have to act a certain way or try to be something other than who you are. Be yourself!

7. REALIZE YOUR WORTH. Your worth isn’t about how much money you have in your bank account. It’s about the woman that you are. It’s about how you behave and carry yourself – not just about materialistic thing. Realize your worth!

8. BE SECURE enough to be open and ready to embrace a good man. You can’t be open to a real man when you’re carrying issues from the past. And if you’re not ready for a good man or still have some things that you’re insecure about, work on yourself before messing up a good thing.

9.  TAKE THE INITIATIVE.  Offer to pay for a date…or half of it, even.  Help pick out the location – just help make a decision!  Or take ME on a date!

10.  DON’T MAKE ME CHASE after you too much.  I don’t have time for that.  If someone shows interest in you, its okay to show interest back.

11.  DON’T CONFUSE being a gentleman with being thirsty.  If I open the door for you, it doesn’t mean that I’m dying to have sex with you.

12.  DON’T JUDGE a book by its cover!  Being a good looking guy doesn’t mean that I’m a bad one.  I can be a good looking, great guy.  We exist!

13.  BE HONEST with what you want – no (guessing) games.  Men aren’t mind readers.  We aren’t going to know to do something just because you thought about it.

14.  STOP CHASING the high of dating.  Women love the honeymoon stage – but when it dies down, sometimes it feels as if her interest dies down with it.

15.  DON’T ASSUME every good looking or nice guy is a jerk (or on the split side of things – easy).  Just because a guy looks good and is nice to you, doesn’t mean that he’s trying to get in your pants OR get married tomorrow.

16.  DON’T JUDGE a man’s character off of the first date.  He’s nervous and trying to impress you.  That’s most likely not the real him!  The real him usually shows his face the second time around.

17.  OFFER to go dutch on the first date; it takes some of the pressure off.

18. There are clear warning signs of crazy or insane men.  STOP ACTING like you don’t see them!

19.  And SPEAK UP when you see these warning signs that throw you off!

20.  Don’t be afraid to ASK QUESTIONS about his character.  He should have answers!

21.  Wear LESS MAKEUP.  Don’t dress like a doll and not expect to get treated like a toy.

22.  NEVER TALK ABOUT OTHER GUYS to a guy you’re dating.

23.  Men love women with actual integrity!  MAKE A DECISION and follow through.

24.  If you do or say something to get a certain reaction, IT’S YOUR FAULT if you get a different reaction instead.

25.  Keep your NAILS done!

26.  Expect a man to lead but don’t expect him to do 100% of the planning or conversing.  It’s okay to INSERT YOURSELF INTO THE EQUATION.  If you have a suggestion, throw it in there!  A man shouldn’t have to do all of the work.

27.  YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER.  I shouldn’t have to ask your permission to go somewhere and I shouldn’t have to tell you where I’m going.  It’s annoying.  And give me some space sometimes.  We don’t have to spend every waking moment together.

28.  Y’all talk too much.  It’s okay to SIT QUIETLY in the room without saying anything :)

29.  TAKE CHARGE a little bit! We like it.

30.  MORE BLOWJOBS.  It can never be a shortage.  If you think it doesn’t matter – that’s the problem.

Which of these did you find useful? Which were you surprised by? And which have you struggled the most with when dating?

Comment(s) here…and don’t forget to submit a topic for later!  

Sources and other media: 6 men (ages 23-30)

Nosy Josie


About nosy josie (88 Articles)
Josie is an aspiring writer living in Chicago Illinois, inspiring self-love through her own tragicomic life journey. Follow Josie as she details her collection of dating fails, life lessons and heart-to-heart confessions with her nosy readers.

58 Comments on 6 Men and Their 30 Dating Tips for Single Women

  1. I think this post was needed…. I agreed with most of the post BUT number nine…. Ehhhhh I’m not so sure about. I don’t know why we have taken out the old school way of dating… Man approaches woman & askes for a date & pays for it. It doesn’t have to be something expensive. I would actually encourage Starbucks or ice cream… That way if there isn’t a connection… The only thing you lost is a few dollars. Not a big deal…. Great post love bug… And thank you guys for chiming in!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad you enjoyed! It was definitely intriguing to say the least, hearing so many different views of dating lol. I was most surprised at how passionate the guys got once comfortable with opening up. I guess they care as much as we do, afterall! Number 9 – good old number 9 lol. You know we’ve had this conversation time and time again. After talking with them, I think I’ve finally got an understanding of their reasoning (not saying that I agree with it 100%). Its not that they care as much about being inconvenienced financially, surprisingly. They: 1. view dating as a 2-way street rather than a one-way pursuit. 2. They don’t want to be taken advantage of by women who are there just for the free meal (or ice cream). No matter the dollar amount, they don’t want to be used. What do you think about that?


      • 🎵 Engine, engine number 9…. They say pay, pick, help a brotha out. I say cool. Got Starbucks? Cold Stone Creamery? On me!! It’s a date! Now, you can say no. But, as the old saying goes “Don’t ever say I never offered !” Lol
        Can the church say “Well-ah!” Tell me how you really feel?!! These men did. Good and (some) things that make you go hmmm. The good started with a positive voice ( # 2, 4, 7, …) Others with a negative voice (#1. Right out the gate!). Hmmm. Then, there were those that just made me laugh, such as number 12 & 16. Don’t judge?! Oh, pan-leeeze. I’m gonna judge. You’re gonna judge, too! Just don’t let “the jury” be your final judgement. Make a decision (#23 they say) and I say roll with it! My personal favorite is number 25. Preach, my brothas! My favorite of them all, though is number 22. That’s the truth! Let the church say “Amen.” AMEN! 😄

        Liked by 1 person

        • You are so much fun, always lol! It sounds like you’re their perfect girl heeey :D. I can’t get with 25 because these nails are horrid. They won’t grow!! But yes, number 22 is my everything now that I’m busier with my own hobby. I really like a man that can allow me to focus on my goals while still giving me enough attention to feel appreciated

          Liked by 1 person

        • Ahhhhh! You know me so well! You get me! LOLOLOL 😉
          My nails are short and buffed smooth. Polish chips, even clear, so I just keep ’em buffed. Have you ever heard the saying “You can tell how a person is by their bathroom or kitchen” ? If these rooms are clean, they’re generally a tidy person. And vice versa. That’s how I feel about women and nails. If you can take time for your hair, makeup, clothes, you can take the same time (and attention) to maintenance of your nails/toe nails. I can’t judge a man with dirt under his nails with chipped, broken nails myself! Wink. Wink. Having support to ‘do you ‘ and achieve your goals and dreams IS awesome! Like blogging ;)

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Everything here seems reasonable except #25. Keep your nails done? WTF?! That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. Most men I know don’t even notice fingernails and couldn’t care less about them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • HA! I was just telling nashami (see below) that I cringed when he said “keep your nails done.” Mine are horrid and I know it – BUT I swear I’ve heard a lot of men say it before. Maybe this is why I’m single :/ haha!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow I was surprised at number 29…taking charge is okay at times. I never like to seem to forward so that’s good to know. Number 10… Don’t have him chase to long is good info and number 9? Offer to pay for the date? That’ll never happen. Great Post! :)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on A Black Rose Thrived and commented:
    6 Men and Their 30 Dating Tips for Single Women

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good tips in general, although don’t agree with the nails or going Dutch. A gentlemen pays for the first date. Call it Old School if you want to, but if I have to come out of my pocket when a man asks me out, that’s Strike one. No. 18 spoke the most though. Women need to practice running from crazy. because we see it and we see it soon.

    Liked by 2 people

    • OMG I CRINGED when he said “keep your nails done” because mine are horrid and I know he glanced at them when giving the tip lmao. I had an insecure moment for sure. It sounds like you agree with Sensational Whitney (see her post above) on the going Dutch. Its interesting because most women feel the same, while many men are starting to confess feeling differently. But I agree with you wholeheartedly that its a turnoff when I have to pay first. I remember telling Sensational Whitney a while back that I don’t mind paying for a date (which is true). But I’ve noticed that when I did it once, the men started to do it less and less. It made me feel more like a chaser and less like a lady- which affected my swag…ultimately making me feel more in control and bossy…like the leader. I would rather we do something free if that’s how we’re going to play it – so that you can maintain the image of the tempo-setter. Does that make sense? And yes, we try too hard to compromise with crazy! lmao

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahahah Josie you KNOW how I am about these nails! They STaY done so I wasn’t worried about that…
    Staying away from crazy! Yassssss *hehehehe* that has proven to be difficult for me in the past.
    Now, I can get jiggy with a free date but I will not… I repeat… I will not come out of my pocket on the first date. It seems like the old school principles have been thrown out the window… What a shame…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Absolutely great tips

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I co-sign heavily 1, 2, 8, 11, 13, 20, 26, 27, 29, 21, and 30… Those are crucial… If a women wants to be treated as equal, we men and women should do things as equals…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Interesting! A lot of guys have been saying the same about equality. How do you all figure that courting a woman and equality go hand in hand? Let me know!

      Liked by 1 person

      • We can still court woman, but it’s all based on that person, are we living in today’s world or tradition years ago and since back in the past? It’s based on the woman, if she still believe in fairy tales and so on, I guess she would need all the bells and whistles, that’s means she doesn’t live a “real world” lifestyle. That’s where the culture of people become a factor more than just trying to get someone interested in you and keeping there attention… Straight forwardness would be needed. Guys are not here to be therapists and mind readers.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I a pet peeve of mines and its weird, most women I see and know don’t tip… Why so mad all the times and try to think most positively

    Liked by 1 person

    • ooooh you know what’s interesting?! I’m big on that – if a guy pays for the meal, I get the tip. Well…I used to. When I stopped carrying cash on me, that all went to pieces lol. I can start back up though! I think its a great way to contribute modestly and to show you appreciation as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yup… Well that’s why guys don’t try to do dates as much anymore… Women tend to take advantage and get a free meal. I know this goes for me, I rather hang out and show no interest in a woman than go trying to give women free meals and a whole bunch of first dates and then find out it didn’t work out. Just a waste of money… So I don’t look for women anymore I just focus on me and business that has a ROI

        Liked by 1 person

        • Is the solution to that really to just stop looking for women, though?


        • Yup, not saying not keeping your eyes open for a what might be out there, but definitely not focus on trying to find the one. It will happen when it needs to. In time good things happens. You just never know. But wasting time is definitely something that can be changed. The same goes a woman trying to look for a guy and happen to keep running into bad seeds.

          Liked by 1 person

        • I sure hope that’s the truth because I don’t go out as much as I used to since I stopped searching. Sometimes it feels like there’s no one in the prospect bucket to even have as a potential man. But I guess its better than wasting my time and stressing over bad guys

          Liked by 1 person

        • True… But with not focusing on those things you mind is adjusted to do other great things. Maybe the person you may seek live in another place or city, until you do some traveling or more you won’t know. :)


  10. If a man ask you out on a date and pays, why not even offer to tip… That be like $4-$8 average… Like dang… Pure silliness to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Perhaps I’m more of a traditionalist because I am not paying for the first date. I’m fine with paying for dates later or doing something free. Just out of curiosity what was the racial/ethnic demographics of this group? I’ve noticed that male viewpoints significantly vary depending on age, race, and financial stability. Thank you for this write up. It was a fun read. I’d like to something about what men think women should be doing it would be nice for our viewpoint to be considered as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I should’ve edited my comment…but what I meant to say is it would be nice to see an article about what women think. I think men could also benefit from dating tips from a woman’s perspective

      Liked by 1 person

    • I think a LOT of women are traditionalists in this sense. I am a bit different because I’m okay with paying for the drinks or tipping on a first date. Honestly, depending on how casual of a date it is (aka prob not considered a true date) I will just grab the tickets to the movie in advance and expect him to get popcorn later. Or something like that. The group consisted of 1 Dominican, 3 Caucasians, 2 African Americans. All of them are 23-30 and working for a company that offers solid pay with a structured plan for advancement. I am encouraging them to come here and give feedback though so hopefully you’ll see some replies soon!


  12. #3 & #10 truth! Great read, this should be a manual for all women venturing out in the dating world! We aren’t freaking mind readers!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Just Browsing // February 1, 2016 at 5:59 pm // Reply

    Don’t look for someone established? Nope. This may be ok for younger people but, a man of a certain age needs to have accomplished certain things. Period. Also if you’re dating for marriage how is somone going to lead you if he is behind you? But other than that, I thought the list was good.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey JB! I see you have that old school way of thinking like me lol. I will admit that I used to be big on helping men reach their full potential until I realized that they have to want this for themselves as well. I’m still willing to help with the push… but you have to have already taken a step or 2 before I do. I’m okay with a man not being established, because neither am I. But I do agree that a certain level of accomplishments should have been attained by the time we meet. I also like that you’ve identified yourself as the leader in your relationship. A lot of women want that still!


  14. Another great post, Josie!!!
    I totally agree with 2, 4, 7, 16, and 21. But a few of the seemed a little artificial from the guys, especially the “get your nails done”. I definitely make it my business to maintain upkeep, but sometimes guys make it seem like it does not matter, but obviously it does.
    I also wonder if these guys would be open to following their own rules, or is it just for the ladies to accommodate them?
    Great post! I think it’s good to gage men on their thoughts about dating.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. 8 and 21 are so very true and I have mentioned this in my recent posts. You have to be vulnerable and show your true self so that there are no surprises for him and he will reciprocate! Society has us brain washed into thinking that redbottoms,MK,$700 hair made on 3rd world countries backs,and tv shows that despise us as women,men,a culture is what is important in life and thus in attracting a King or Queen. My blog for the week. “Treat yourself like a Queen and you will attract a King”!

    Liked by 1 person

    • o0o I need to go check this out asap. Being vulnerable for each other is so important and people really miss out this. Its a huge part of establishing a connection and trust with the person you’re dating. If you guard yourself too much, what makes your relationship any different than the ones you have with strangers? Can’t wait to read your post! I’ve already got it pulled up.


  16. tunisiajolyn84 // January 4, 2017 at 8:55 pm // Reply

    I really enjoyed this post. Some of them I gave the side-eye to, some of them I laughed and some of them I agreed with wholeheartedly like this one “If you do or say something to get a certain reaction, IT’S YOUR FAULT if you get a different reaction instead.” i learned this the hard way. Every time I did something deliberately to get a certain reaction, it always failed. Faulty energy can always be felt so now I try to be as genuine as possible with my interactions with men.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha! You should have seen MY expressions while in a room with all of them. Girl…it was man-overload. It took everything within me not to interject. But yes, they definitely had some good stuff to say. I’m glad you learned from the faulty energy. I feel like that’s a hard lesson to learn because it involves us relinquishing control and allowing things to happen naturally.

      Liked by 1 person

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