7:43 am ][ shattered guilt.

Iam half asleep.  I was awakened not too long ago from the sound of porcelain crashing against my kitchen floor.  I have yet to find anything that causes my heart to race more than loud sounds in the midst of a deep sleep.  My eyelids hit the ceiling but my body remained motionless.  There was an intruder in my house, I was sure of it.  I was about to die.  This was it…karma…in the flesh.

As rationality started to set in, I realized that no one would ever break into this shitty apartment.  I left my sofa and walked into the kitchen to find Brooklynn, my cat hovering over a broken “Jessi” – the newest addition to my personal cheerleading squad of mugs.  My new, inspirational, comforting mug was done for.  At that moment, I realized two things:

-I’ve binged watched too much Criminal Minds this week.

– Jessi had been helping me cope with my guilt.

I started to cry (just a little – 4 tears max, don’t worry).  I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this conflicted.  To tell your heart that its wrong feels like the ultimate betrayal.  One thing is for certain…gorilla glue…today. I must resurrect Jessi… there’s no way I’m confronting my conscience without her.

Nosy Josie  JE3