3:05 pm ][ urgent dreams.

Last night I had the most amazing dream.  It was so silent… but left me with this crazy loud afterthought when I woke.  It was about a black boy…a black boy with an afro and a book-bag.

 He was fairly young, around 12-14. And he was fascinated with protests and civil unrest.  I mean…fascinated!  Whenever demonstrations would fill the city streets, this boy was right there on the sidelines.  I could literally feel his passion in my dream.He wanted so desperately to join the protests but his mother had forbidden him from doing so; told him that he would feel her wrath in every inch of his body if he did.  So he stuck to the sidelines and watched intently.  He watched everything:  crying mothers, angry fathers, compassionate police officers, aggressive police officers, fearful business owners, supportive business owners…

He read the protesters signs – stained with frustrated black ink.  He observed the passion in their chants and the urgency in their walk. He wanted to march so badly. But fearing his mother, he found satisfaction in whispering the chants under his breath instead.

People would always ask him “What do you want to be when you grow up kid?”  For years, his answer was the same, “I want to be a protester.”  And every time, people would laugh and tell him “That’s not a career boy.  Be realistic!”  But to him, protesting was realistic.  So when he turned 16 and the opportunity presented itself again, he protested.  Well as it turned out…his protesting actually led to him becoming one of the biggest civil rights activist of his time.  Quite the career!

What those people told this kid while growing up was no different from what a lot of us hear our whole life.  That there are hobbies and then there are careers. And that we shouldn’t really bank on the two merging; especially if our hobbies don’t appear to offer any monetary gain.

So we take all of those “insignificant passions” that we have and pocket them away as hobbies or wishful thinking instead.  Miserably refocusing our goals to fit someone else’s standard or idea of success.  And then we wonder why we aren’t fully satisfied in what we do everyday for a living.

But what would you be doing today if you hadn’t disregarded your passions as being unrealistic? If you would have just followed your first instinct rather than listening to society, your ego or your insecurities.  Because every time I press “publish” on this site, I wonder exactly that.  What would have happened if I had just followed my first instinct and went to school for Journalism?  Or if I would have launched that local magazine I wrote up a business plan for in college.

My dream reinforced for me exactly what I needed to hear –  don’t set aside your “small” dreams in order to chase “bigger” ones you don’t even care about.  If you’re curious about where your hobby or passion can take you, then explore it.  The worst thing that can happen is that you walk away with no regrets.

Nosy Josie  JE14

via Daily Prompt: Urgent